Leave

I was given leave to return home for the weekend. I was pleased about this but anxious. The nurse said my husband and I made a good team and we would be alright. Although my thoughts were less confused and reality was trumping paranoia, I was also realising even more clearly now how depressed I was and the burden I was placing on my baby boy and husband. I felt guilty and that I was letting them down. I had been having suicidal thoughts but I had not acted on them. That evening at home I had finished having a shower and was alone upstairs. I then decided that I might try to see if I could do what I wanted to do. I tied the hairdryer cable around my neck and tightened it. I loosened it and realised that if I was going to do it I could. I would later disclose what I did which then led to another MHA assessment as I demanded to be discharged.