My husband couldn’t take it anymore. How could I lie and dupe him into thinking I was being compliant when we were trying to fall pregnant. This coupled with the previous deception was now straining our relationship to breaking point. What would happen?
We had an appointment with my care coordinator and husband at our house. It became emotionally intense and it was becoming unbearable. The guilt I felt, the hurt I had caused….my husband said he couldn’t take anymore and he was thinking it was over between us. My heart shattered….devastated does not truly describe the pain I felt when I heard those words. What had I done?
As the meeting progressed, I could no longer bear the scrutiny of my deception and I stormed out of the house. I grabbed my car keys and got into the car.
I didn’t get very far. Maybe 5 metres down the road and I realised what a childish thing I had done to run out like that. I knew I would feel embarrassed going back but I also knew it would look a lot worse if I didn’t show my face. Anyways, I didn’t know where I was going to drive to.
I returned to the house and apologised. I think my care coordinator was surprised that I had returned. Perhaps in her experience she was used to people storming out and not returning.
My care coordinator told me that my husband was very tolerant and that many would have left their marriage before this stage. She was right of course. He was far too tolerant of my lies and although the hurt was there my husband was prepared to continue on with our marriage. But he made it very clear that the next deception will not end with us being together.
At the end of the day I had to decide was I prepared to stop messing about and save our marriage?
Psychologist and Patient 