Feelings

People will ask me how I am feeling and on the whole I can answer the physical part quite easily as being fine. Emotionally however I am left confused on what I should be feeling….relief to be alive, fear over the fragility of life, sadness over losing my baby or worry about being able to fall pregnant again?

People have said get well soon but those words seem so finite. That there is an end process to what has happened and yet it does not feel like there is. Yes may be to the physical side but the emotional side, how do I make it well or do I just become stronger.

I had frequent flashbacks and bad dreams initially but those have slowly faded. In some ways this makes me sad as it could mean I am forgetting, particularly as I sometimes feel it happened to someone else. This could be my way of coping with the trauma. In just under a month’s time I will be seeing the consultant/surgeon for a follow up. This will be important in my journey to healing.