I chose to solely breastfeed baby boy. No surprise there- I have an underlying belief I’m not good enough, so I strived to anything that made me look and feel a good enough mother. Not breastfeeding would be not good enough. Problem was I didn’t enjoy it.
Problem was I had become a breastfeeding machine and that was it. I no longer felt human and my sole purpose in life was to feed this little person. I was still their lifeline and it was exhausting. Little did I know then that the connection during pregnancy never truly breaks. Placenta may no longer connect us but now there was an invisible cord that would thankfully become a bond.
The bonding process was difficult and I was going through the motions- pick up baby, feed baby, put baby back down to sleep. I instinctively reacted to his crying but I still didn’t believe he was mine. He didn’t look like either of us but then one day mother-in-law sent a photo of husband as a baby. It took just a photograph to convince me that baby boy was mine.
Psychologist and Patient 